So well fortified that I myself cannot escape from it
So deeply entrenched in its' bowels that others can no longer see past it's unyielding concrete facade
I'm stifled... Breathing in the same air each and every day
Eager for escape
Except I've misplaced the only key
Shackled by my own misguidance...
By my own fears
People have begun to pass me by
Oblivious to the dreary place that I've become
Dismissed as a blight in an otherwise beautiful world
They only see this cold exterior
I've become invisible
Unable to be seen, there is a woman that still lives deep inside this gloomy interior
There is no welcoming feel to this place
It's as far away from home as it could possibly be
In this inky darkness, I dream...
I concoct a different actuality
Like being free and without care
Of something so basic as breathing fresh air
Imagining myself as a human being without this self-imposed criminal past
An intact feminine being who knows her self-worth
Longing to be heard
To no longer be dismissed
Having a voice as melodic, as appealing as the others
Wanting to be a home, an inviting attractive place
A nest in which to nurture a future... happiness... and (dare I wish it?) love...
I imagine breaking free from this cold hard place
Of being someone worthy of my own appreciation
Of no longer starving for external acceptance while languishing in this self-imposed internment
Musing on shedding the scars and the vicious cycles
The ones that keep bringing me back to this dark and lonely cell deep within myself
6/8/10
NJ Path & 1 Train
Lava rocks and silica rich waters around the Blue Lagoon in Iceland
- Photo taken December 2008
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